October 30, 2004

POWELL, OH — Two new words can now be used to describe Brian "Elvis" McCormick: prep cook. This is McCormick's new title after he failed to show for GVIII and rookie Eric "Bro" Melick more than ably filled his shoes at the grill. Melick has now assumed the title of Head Chef at Golfapalooza. McCormick took his demotion in stride. "I understand why I lost my position. Golfapalooza doesn't work like other sports where if you lose your position from injury or drug suspension you get it back when you return. Too many Loozers have come and gone for that to happen. I'll be back next year and do whatever is needed to ensure that good eats remain a mainstay of the Golfapalooza tradition."

In typical fashion, Melick downplayed his promotion. "I was more than willing to help out at the grill. I'm just glad there were other enough fixings in the kitchen to let me cook to my fullest ability. Next year I'll have some more surprises on top of the ones I've already revealed. I heard that Elvis doesn't live too far from me. Maybe we can together and coordinate the weekend menu ahead of time."

Less than eleven months remain until GIX.